Den of Honor

I've outdone myself. I've created the den of honor. It was all my idea. Screw the people who actually did it. It's my idea and I'll just steal the credit if I can't get it. It might have been Alice's idea but we all know I bodyslammed that bitch into oblivion.

Right now we don't have much advertising except for ADT, but I promise you all the beautiful blue blank space you see will be covered with advertising, glorious, orgasm-inducing advertising.

You know, I really should look at my future plans. One day someone will actually correllate my arrival to the Panthers organization to the downfall of the team. People tell me I am a cancer on the team, but I'm proud of it because the goal is to make money. That's what I do. Who cares if everything else gets destroyed in the process. It's all about me. And money.

I hope my pink slip comes on a sheet of paper that has advertising on the other side. It's only fitting.

PS: I don't think I like Twitter much. I can't advertise in such a small face. But more people follow me on Twitter than on this blog. 

Please follow me (the blog, twitter, live.com) and help inflate my ego even bigger than it already is.

A Moment In History

Yeah, today both RMY and FMY both agreed on something.

RMY said in a Tweet earlier today, "Tough loss last night. Unacceptable! Need to win games at home! Fans need to leave the Bankatlantic center as WINNERS! Day of rest today."

FMY would like to concur that this is complete unacceptable. As such, I throw my hat in with RMY. Losing means less people at the games, and you've seen it lately. Less people at the games means less money at both the conce$$ion $tand$ and at the box office. And ultimately it means less eyeballs viewing my our sponsors' advertising.

I do wish to point out that RMY doesn't care if we win on the road or not, just at home. And I also wish to point out that RMY can't even get the sponsor's name right. "BankAtlantic Center" is proper. Even FMY can get the name of the pillarmost pillar partner. Is pillarmost a word?

I'd suggest retiring the third jersey because it's clearly bad luck, but we need the money more than our pride. At least I do. I'm not sure about the team. Nobody has seen them in weeks.

The New Owners

Wow, this one really blindsided me. Fortunately, I've already brainwashed talked to the new owners and my job is secure. I've promised them loads of income. I am going to miss Cohen. He was such a pushover and I could do whatever I want. He believed everything I said. What a patsy. The new owners will require more work, but I assure you that I, FMY, am on the case.

The new Chairman Cliff Viner and CEO Stu Siegel will spend the pregame on the BankAtlantic Center’s main plaza level, ushering in an era of accessibility for fans, media, and partners that will also include regular town hall meetings, hosting fans and business prospects in the owner’s suite, e-mail messages, blogs, suite visits, and more. My job is to figure out how to monetize it. Or as my fans say, "whore it up" -- though I'm not sure why the ice dancers are involved.

I am worried fans will complain bitterly about the advertising, but I hope they don't. It only hurts the sponsors and we love our sponsors. Or at least their money.