Cuba Gooding Junior

Show me the money. Yeah, baby. I'm with ya' -- that's all it's ever about. Who needs standards when you have money.

Which is why I am sad the Panthers are losing.

It means less bodies in seats and that means less people seeing my advertising in my building. And it's all about me. I'm jealous of my brother Brett. So I must amass more money than he does. It's a contest. Contests are perfectly healthy outlets for aggression.  You know what else contests have? SPONSORS!

Seriously, tell me, it's not just me is it? I mean when you see the word "sponsor" or "advertising" don't you have a little orgasmic quiver inside your underpants? I can't be the only one. Can I?

Next season for $1000 you can have your name tattooed on the butt-cheek of any of our lovely ice dancers.  We do have standards and no profanity or sexual innuendo is allowed. If you buy both cheeks on the same dancer, you get a 10% discount on the second cheek. $1900 for two. CA$H only.

We also have some exciting news regarding the mascots. Remington firearms is having a shooting contest at one of the games at intermission using live ammunition. Along those lines, we're auditioning for a new mini-Stanley mascot for next season.

Also to those of you who renewed and were promised tickets to the John-Joel Face-To-Face tour later this year when it appears at the BankAtlantic center just as I promised, I want to reassure you that Billy Joel had no idea what he was talking about when he said they were not touring for the remainder of the year.  Rolling Stone magazine doesn't know shit either. They're just doing this to make me, Michael Yormark, look bad. Would you rather believe Joel or me? I thought so. Thanks for your support.