Magic Carpet Ride

I am really pissed off. I know it's not professional to swear like that, but I'm Michael Fucking Yormark, and I can do whatever I want. If you don't believe me, just ask Alice. It's important you know what kind of person I am. Actions speak louder than words. Except when I'm mad and my words are really, really loud.

Some season-ticket-holder complained to me. The nerve! He said I should spend some money and fix the carpet? Doesn't this guy know how much money we spent last year on black duct tape to hold it down? What does he think we are? A cheap, penny-pinching, short-cut-taking organization? We're buying the duct tape out of our own money. It's not even sponsored.

However, to address the question, we are looking for a patsy someone to sponsor the carpet. The way I figure it, I'll find a rube company to pay us for the privilege of putting in the carpet. I mean, it's going to cost well into the six figures to re-carpet this place.

It's only ten years old. It doesn't look that bad....